Embarking on a journey of personal reinvention can be both daunting and liberating, especially when faced with the complexities of divorce and life transitions. In the pursuit of newfound strength and resilience, individuals often seek the guidance of experienced coaches who can illuminate the path ahead. Enter Elisa Valentino, a beacon of support and empowerment in the realm of divorce and life transition coaching. In this article, we’ll delve into Elisa’s unique approach, drawing on her expertise to navigate the challenges of transformation and emerge on the other side with renewed purpose and a sense of self. Join Mystic Mag as we explore the transformative power of Elisa Valentino’s coaching, where endings become beginnings and individuals discover the untapped reservoirs of strength within themselves.
As a holistic behavioral practitioner, how do you integrate various therapeutic modalities to address the mind, body, and spirit in your coaching sessions?
I view my clients from a holistic standpoint where every aspect of them is integral to healing the other and bringing them into alignment. We are not taught to view ourselves as the sum of all our parts working in conjunction with one another. My goal is to bring clarity about how thoughts have a direct effect on one’s health and energetic or spiritual vibration and vice versa. Learning how to view oneself as an integrated being raises the overall health, wellness and manifestation abilities to create the life one wants.This is especially true when it comes to divorce. When there is holistic self-awareness, one begins to realize the control they possess over their own destiny,and as a result, feel empowered to become creators and architects of their lives rather than passive victims.
Can you provide an example of a case where this approach yielded significant results?
I’ll use a very simple example of one client who we will call Alison, who was going through the trauma of divorce. She felt helpless, afraid and scared about her financial future because her husband was the monied spouse and she was experiencing great overwhelm about her fate moving forward. As a result of getting grounded in thought and in touch with her goals, she began to see a path of hope opening up. Next, through a wellness evaluation, it became clear that she was not sleeping well and that she was also lacking some important nutrients that would enable great calm and clearer thinking. Lastly, we began to include regular daily mindfulness practices that included morning and evening guided meditations and a keeping a gratitude journal. As a result, after three short weeks into our work, Alison felt a greater sense of control over her situation, feeling a new found enthusiasm about a bright future post-divorce. She was able to be more analytic and take action steps that felt way too scary only a few weeks earlier by meeting with insurance and financial analysts to begin putting a workable plan together for shoring up her financial future.
In your role as a divorce and life transition coach, what strategies do you employ to help individuals navigate the emotional challenges and uncertainties that come with major life changes?
Divorce is a very complex experience and there is no magic formula. However, what I can say is that the two most important things in navigating the emotional challenges and uncertainties of this life changing event are goal setting and clarity about the divorce process. Goals are key because when one’s life is upended as is the case with divorce, creating a vision for your future life is very grounding, and acts like blinders, avoiding being distracted and side tracked by things that would normally be triggering. Goals help to prioritize and provide perspective to what’s really important and what’s not. One important exercise that I find helpful to clients is writing a life vision letter, which is written by the client describing their life one year from the present. Through this, clients are able to transport themselves mentally into the future life they want and with regular mental rehearsal of this “new life” they reinforce the reality they are working on manifesting.
The second important strategy is getting clarity about the legal aspects of divorce. Many individuals are blindsided when they hear the realities of property distribution, spousal and child support and the nuances of the court system. Movies and television are the manner in which most people get their education about how divorce works and are pretty shocked, angry and fearful when they learn how divorce works in the real world. It is usually the attorney who has to break these harsh realities to their clients and without the property emotional support, it can cause additional emotional upheaval. My coaching programs include a balance of practical knowledge about the process itself combined with the emotional support to process these facts, all while gently guiding the individual in a forward manner towards their goals for post-divorce life.
Can you share a success story of someone you’ve coached through a particularly difficult transition?
One success story that comes to mind is that of “Matt.” He was a newly separated father of three kids under the age of 12. Not seeing his kids every day was very painful, especially at night, when he would normally put them to bed. He was very down about his new living situation in a new apartment, a change from the private house in which he lived for the past 15 years. It was important for Matt to not get stuck in the negative emotions, which could lead to feeling like a victim rather than the architect of his life. In his vision letter, he expressed a beautiful description of his new house, with a big yard, set up with a lacrosse net to play with his three children. He also described a lovely vegetable garden, which had always been his passion during his marriage. His house had a large family room with a big screen television for which he and his two sons and daughter would have movie night every Friday of his visitation weekend. He described with joy how he wanted to include the children in the decorating process of his new house, especially when it came to their rooms. His new focus was on how to find the right house for him and his children for their new life with him as a single dad. His mood was more upbeat with this new plan and as a result, he was more empowered as a single dad, and when he’d see his kids he started to shift from feeling as sad when saying goodbye at the end of his visitation to excitement about all the things he would be doing with his children when they were together. He also was more energized about his plan to find a new house and less upset about leaving his marital residence.
As a spiritual lightworker, how does your spiritual perspective influence your coaching practice?
Spiritual lightworking is all about connecting with your own authentic light and a longing to serve the world. It’s really about transforming the dark – things like fear, lack, anger and apathy to light – love, abundance and joy. As a coach, my number one goal is to help each and every client align with their authentic light or “self” and live in the higher vibrational energies of love, abundance and joy! In this way, they will be happier and healthier. My work with people is about helping them to discover their own light, feel positive and content so that they can create the life they want.
What type of services do you offer?
All of my programs incorporate my proprietary V.I.B.E.™ (“Visualize Inner Brilliance, and Empowerment”)coaching model in order to raise your frequency and open the door to manifesting all that you want in life. This includes 4 Pillars:
1. Be the Architect of Your Own MINDSET
2. MANAGE STRESS for Mind, Body & Spiritual Wellness
3. Take Charge of Controlling Your PERSONAL VIBRATION
4. Take Action by SETTING GOALS AND BEING ACCOUNTABLE
My two most popular programs include:
● 3-Step 90-Day Divorce & Life Transition Accelerator Method Program which helps overwhelmed men and women demystify the legalities of the divorce process with clarity and knowledge to ensure a successful divorce outcome AND provide support to create a blueprint to regain normalcy for a smooth transition topost-divorce life.
● The 6-Week Men’s Divorce Solution Accelerator Coaching Program which provides a short-term approach for long-term solutions designed specifically for men and their unique divorce challenges with a road map to streamline the divorce process from start to finish and provide practical solutions for dealing with the emotional impact of divorce.
Every individual’s situation is unique. How do you go about tailoring your coaching plans to meet the specific needs and goals of each client, especially considering the diverse nature of divorce and life transitions?
Coaching is no different than any other business where you are helping people. The key is to understand your client. Since I work one-on-one with my clients, I am able to use the format of my program and tailor this to the needs of the individual with whom I am working. When it comes to divorce coaching, the most important thing to realize is that while there may be many unique factors about the circumstances and challenges of each divorce, in almost all cases, most individuals are at the core overwhelmed with fear and uncertainty for the short and long-term in three key areas. These include Financial Security and Stability, Regaining Normalcy for Them and Their Children and Feeling in Control of Their Lives.
These become the overarching factors throughout the coaching process with the goal being to minimize stress and build a sense of empowerment to move forward healthily and happily. Following a three-step strategy, the individual needs of each client become the focal point and customization throughout the coaching period.
First, in Step One, Life Refocus & Realignment is all about reconnecting with the client’s authentic self including their life goals and desired outcomes, as well as prioritizing physical and emotional self care throughout their divorce journey for overall well being, reducing stress in order to enable good decision making.
In Step Two, Divorce Clarity Education and Empowerment, the client learns the fundamental facts and information needed to navigate the legalities of the divorce process in order to alleviate stress & overwhelm, enable educated decisions for creating a strong divorce agreement, and ensure the best possible post divorce life.
And lastly, in Step Three, “Survive and Thrive” Hitting Restart Success Practices, clients look to the future and post-divorce life, creating a pathway for transforming their goals and desired outcomes into their new reality. They practice new techniques for expanding personal power, transforming fear and manifesting the life they want and deserve.
Each client’s journey is unique and as their coach, I provide support, action steps and accountability based on their specific needs and wants.
How do you practice self care to maintain your own well-being?
Holistic well-being is the most important aspect of my life and it requires great discipline and reaffirming on a daily basis. I’m a stickler for good nutrition, both from organic, natural foods as well for clean supplements to further nourish and fortify myself. I am of the belief that all cures for health and well-being come from nature, so I thoroughly enjoy reading and researching better and more effective ways to stay healthy without the use of pharmaceuticals and synthetic products. For example, I shy away from commercial toothpaste and instead use natural ingredients like baking soda and coconut oil. Additionally, I adhere to old fashioned remedies using ingredients like turmeric, apple cider vinegar, ginger and honey in foods and drinks. I’m a big juicer as well. Relaxing, detox baths are an indulgence I try to do as often as I can with simple ingredients like epsom salt and baking soda. Sleep is a key component in my routine as well because this is when all healing happens, so I do my best to get anywhere from 7-9 hours sleep per night. Lastly, I adhere to two daily mindfulness practices which include keeping a gratitude journal and morning and evening meditation. I also love long walks with my dog, to ensure I get time in the sunshine for vitamin D and lots of fresh air.
