Mystic Mag had the opportunity to talk with Eileen Xenarios about the world of Flex Counseling & Wellness, where adaptability is the cornerstone of healing. Discover how this counseling approach embodies flexibility, tailored to meet the diverse needs of clients. Explore firsthand insights into the synergy between counseling, mindfulness, and resilience-building techniques, and learn how these elements contribute to holistic wellness and long-term mental health outcomes.
“Flex Counseling & Wellness” suggests adaptability. How does your counseling approach embody flexibility, and how do you tailor your services to meet the diverse needs of your clients?
My counseling approach is tailored to the unique needs of my clients. Whether it’s the method, including telehealth or in-person, or the counseling techniques, I start with each person’s preferences, and go from there. For example, some clients like to read books, listen to podcasts, or complete worksheets, and I have a variety of tools I recommend. Others prefer to stick with the time spent in therapy sessions to process what’s going on in their lives. My style is adaptive to ensure that clients get what they need from the process.
When I think about resilience, which is a skill that I emphasize in my work with clients, it’s about being able to weather the storms that life brings. There’s a certain element of flexibility and adaptability in resilience, enabling people to approach challenges with a sense of empowerment, but also ensuring that strength doesn’t become rigid. I think of resilience like a rubber ball that holds its shape, but has a little bit of give, as compared to a glass light bulb that shatters upon impact. We want a little bit of give and take as we navigate life’s ups and downs.
Mindfulness practices are a key aspect of your offerings. How do you integrate mindfulness into counseling sessions, and what role does it play in promoting mental health and well-being?
Yes, mindfulness is definitely a key concept in building mental wellness and resilience to stress. Often, mental health struggles are associated with the mind spiraling into the future or the past, especially when people are experiencing anxiety and depression. Mindfulness helps people learn to anchor in the present moment, using the breath, body, or senses to become centered. Focusing on the present helps ensure we’re not reliving past mistakes, or imagining a difficult or precarious future.
Mindfulness also teaches people to intentionally set their attention, which increases the ability to deliberately focus. By regulating attention, it’s easier to notice the space between what happens and our reactions, and when we increase that mental space, we can respond more appropriately to our environment rather than reacting without thinking. This can help with communicating in relationships with others, especially during conflict.
In addition, mindfulness promotes non-judgmental awareness, which helps people overcome the guilt, self-doubt, and shame that is often at the center of mental health struggles. When we learn to drop the judgment of ourselves, we start to feel more empowered and less driven by feelings of shame, guilt, or unworthiness.
I recommend a variety of mindfulness tools and practice those tools in sessions, if a client is open to practicing in a session. I also provide free breathing exercises, guided meditations, and yoga sessions for clients available on my website, so people can practice on their own.
Can you share specific examples of how mindfulness practices have positively impacted your clients, and are there particular techniques that you find especially effective in various situations?
A lot of my clients are struggling with anxiety and trauma, and I find that shifting into the present moment and learning non-judgmental awareness is helpful in the process of teaching the nervous system to shift out of the “fight/flight/freeze” activation response and into the “rest/digest” response. Working with simple breathing techniques or anchoring in the five senses are great ways for beginners to start practicing mindfulness. In general, breath practices that focus more on exhales, and grounding techniques such as becoming aware of one’s body in the chair, can be helpful to decrease an overactive stress response. With clients who struggle with regulating emotions, especially anger, mindfulness can help them increase their awareness so that they can show up differently when they find themselves in conflict within relationships.
Yoga and meditation are integral to your offerings. How do these practices specifically contribute to mental health resilience, and are there particular techniques within yoga and meditation that you find especially beneficial?
There’s a lot of research on how mindfulness and yoga can be part of a holistic approach to building mental health resilience, as well as help process a traumatic history using somatic approaches. I think the key is to find what resonates with each individual, and to explore different practices and techniques until a person finds what works best for their lifestyle, preferences, and unique issues. A trauma-informed yoga approach includes encouraging people to learn to listen to the cues within their bodies, and promotes personal empowerment and self-discovery, which are unique to each person. I work from a foundation of helping people learn to rely on their inner wisdom, and find what works for them in the moment.
Building resilience often involves overcoming challenges. Can you share success stories or examples of individuals who have benefited from your approach, particularly in terms of developing resilience and achieving mental health goals?
While I can’t share information about specific clients, I can speak to the types of concerns many of my clients struggle with. I specialize in a variety of clinical areas including trauma, grief, substance use, life transitions, stress, and relationship challenges. Building resilience to stress and life challenges is especially helpful for people who are juggling jobs, families, spouses, illnesses, and other life activities. Building resilience to the ups and downs of life can be helpful regardless of what issues a person is managing. I think of resilience as similar to strengthening muscles, the more you practice and build up your resilience, the better you can navigate the difficulties that come your way.
Can you speak to the synergy between flexibility, counseling, and mindfulness in fostering holistic wellness, and how do you see these elements contributing to long-term mental health outcomes for your clients?
One of the helpful things about mindfulness is that people may become more comfortable with constant change and uncertainty as they learn to become more mindful. When we observe the present moment, we may become more aware of the shifting nature of things around us and within us. We may notice that our thoughts and feelings come up, and then pass. Comfort with change and adapting to the unknown are cornerstones of resilience.
Mindfulness provides a set of tools to help people focus awareness on their internal thoughts, feelings, bodily sensations, and breath in the present moment, which in turn helps people notice their tendencies and patterns. The act of bringing awareness to a tendency can help people shift into patterns that serve their needs more effectively.
Long term, learning resilience skills provides people with tools to use as they encounter different states of life. At times, some skills may be more applicable than others to help a person navigate a particular challenge. Being flexible to try different approaches, remembering that success isn’t a “one size fits all” approach, and that life is a journey with ups and downs, and new challenges that arise. When we focus on the present moment, with intention and non-judgment, we can meet the challenges as they arise. That’s where mindfulness comes in.
Ultimately, a relationship with a counselor, coach, or mentor can help a person learn tools, apply them in different situations, and can be a helpful process for many. I love the saying “there are many paths up the mountain” and I think that applies to the wellness journey, some people find counseling helpful, others prefer self-study, some enjoy a group. Fortunately, there are so many resources available these days, that everyone can find something that works for them.
