Gabriel’s journey into the realms of healing arts and metaphysics commenced at the age of 12, driven by a profound curiosity. Since then, his unwavering focus has been on personal development, delving into inner landscapes, and unraveling the impact of deep self-awareness on our daily existence.
His educational path led me to attain a BA in English with a concentration in religion, philosophy, and science, followed by an MS in Secondary English Education. Alongside Gabriel’s academic pursuits, he became a Reiki Master/Teacher, Theta Healing Practitioner, and VortexHealing® Practitioner.
Post-graduate studies ushered him into a seven-year apprenticeship with a Native Turtle Clan Elder of the Tuscarora Nation. These teachings not only solidified his knowledge but also equipped him with invaluable tools that continue to shape his practice today. As a Transformational Teacher with over two decades of experience, Gabriel’s commitment remains steadfast in exploring and expanding horizons within this boundless field of discovery. He persistently engages in ongoing studies, integrating, utilizing, and synthesizing diverse areas of knowledge into his singular practice.
Learn more about him in the latest MysticMag interview.
Can you elaborate on how the concept of reflection, both self-reflection and interpersonal reflection, plays a role in emotional healing and trauma recovery?
To start with reflection, we must also start with consciousness. The nature of consciousness is reflective, and we are all living and experiencing in the field of consciousness; we are interconnected through it. This concept is expressed in various forms in spiritual traditions across the globe. We cannot perceive something outside of us if it does not also exist within us to some degree or in some form. Self-reflection includes a degree of awareness. Our awareness is different from consciousness. The best analogy I can give is that awareness is like the movie screen and consciousness is the movie playing on the screen; awareness is what is beyond our thinking mind, the part of you that is aware of the thinking that is happening. When we begin to use that as a self-reflective tool, it creates space between what we are experiencing and what we are feeling about our experience. This space allows us to begin to see that the scenes of the movie may change, but our emotional reactions to those things have rhythms and patterns, they have causes that elicit emotions, and they are more familiar than we may realize. For example, maybe one notices that they have ended up feeling alone, in one way or another, in the past few relationships. If it wasn’t their partner being away on trips, or working all the time, they were emotionally unavailable.
Interpersonal reflection can serve as a mirror to see ourselves more clearly if we are willing. When we reflect on our relationships, we can be shown various dynamics, patterns, and emotional triggers. If we are willing to learn how to take responsibility for those, our interpersonal relationships and reflections on those relationships can be a real catalyst for growth. It is not easy to hold up the mirror and ask, “How am I that way?” An example I love to give is one that many can relate to. So many people complain about that “Stupid” driver in front of them. When we ask, in that moment, “How am I stupid?”, most people respond with another comment about the other driver, but when they take a deeper look, how they were stupid showed up in many forms, like leaving for work with just enough time to get there if there are no delays, dawdling on their phone for 5 extra minutes before leaving, not preparing some things the night before, etc. Stupid can show up in many forms, but if we remember that we cannot see it outside of us if it does not also exist within us, we can begin to uncover why we repeat the same patterns that leave us feeling the same awful ways. These rhythms, patterns, and behaviors have roots in our ancestral traumas and present life traumas. When we uncover what these are and work through them, we can find our way back to wholeness, we can own our disowned parts, and find peace and love within ourselves and in our lives.
People often associate trauma with what would be considered “more serious” incidents of abuse or neglect, but trauma (especially as children) can occur anytime we feel separate, isolated, and alone when we feel unsafe or unwanted, and when we feel shame and guilt. Many of these traumas and the resulting patterns are passed down generationally, so this work can shed light on family dynamics and ancestral trauma as well.
In what ways do you believe individuals can integrate reflective practices into their daily lives to foster emotional balance and resilience?
One simple (and sometimes not so simple) practice is remaining curious when emotions arise. That is one great way to begin to use awareness as a tool, while also learning how to navigate one’s emotional landscape. As soon as we ask ourselves a question, it begins to bring our present moment awareness into what is happening and what we are feeling, but with the degree of space that awareness provides us to be responsive instead of reactive, to continue to remain curious and inquire, or respond, from a more centered place, without spinning out into reactivity, blame, or self-defensiveness as often.
Listen! Listen to your mind chatter, and how you speak, and do your best to be aware of this from moment to moment. When you become aware of your moments, you are exercising presence, and using that ever-increasing degree of presence to allow you to witness and perceive your rhythms and patterns of thought and emotion. This is another way to use awareness as a tool to cultivate a greater degree of presence and to begin to discover what some of your unconscious drives, motivations, desires, and unmet needs are, which can allow us to then find ways to get those needs met and find resolution within ourselves.
Cultivate body awareness. Where in your body do you hold tension and stress? In learning to develop a degree of somatic (bodily) awareness, you can bring your present moment awareness into your body, into the tension, and begin to feel what the tension is about emotionally. One definition of tension is when one is using more energy than is required. Think about what happens when you tense your body up in reaction to something, whether that be the anxiety you are feeling, preparing to take a blow physically or emotionally, overthinking, worrying, or a sudden surprise. Often, where there is tension, there is also a mental/emotional issue helping to reinforce that physical pattern, as it impacts how we carry ourselves and hold ourselves physically. Our physiology is often reflective of our psychology. When you can relax into the tension and feel it, the body can have a chance to show you what it is about, what kind of feelings are involved with the tension, and what you may be reactive to. This is connected to somatic (bodily) memory. I often advise people not to think about it, but to feel about it, meaning, when navigating the emotional landscape expressed in our body it is best not to get the mind involved too much; if we follow the feeling and stay curious about where it goes, in the heart of the tension the body has memories and answers. It is more about Being with the tension and emotion, which allows it to unfold, rather than trying to do anything or think anything about it.
The practice of being able to do these things helps to bring emotional balance and build inner resilience, with an exuberance for life rather than a resistance to, or denial of, life. The mind and the body are a continuum, and one cannot exist without the other. They influence and reflect one another, and we can use that for our healing, to find our way back to wholeness with balance and a newfound resilience to the challenges that life presents.
How does the process of reflection contribute to the improvement of interpersonal relationships, and can you provide examples of how this has been demonstrated in your work or personal experiences?
When we use reflective practices and techniques to work through core beliefs, fears, and identities, that is when we change our conditioned nature and how we have learned to engage in life. That is when we see our external relationships begin to change as well. The more we can love and own who we are, the easier it is to love others as they are. Relationships invariably improve because of this.
One poignant example was a client of mine whose relationship with her father was anxiety-inducing. She dreaded the thought of him calling or having to call him. They would send pointed letters back and forth, sometimes not even being able to look at the letters for days after receiving them. She would often leave their interactions with feelings of shame, guilt, and anger directed inward in the form of blame. She struggled with depression and anxiety. Through using The Reflections ProcessÓ together, we were able to work through some core beliefs, as well as childhood and ancestral trauma. Within a couple of months of working together, she not only enthusiastically opened the letters, but she called to see how he was doing. He was his usual self, but this time, she was able to set firm boundaries with him about acceptable and unacceptable ways of speaking with her. When he eventually crossed a boundary, she politely said, “You heard what I said, we will talk another time, I am hanging up now.” She did this without any feelings of shame or guilt either. She felt empowered and was able to speak clearly and confidently with someone who used to push every button there was. They continue to speak on a more limited basis, but he does not cross her boundaries anymore and she has the emotional space to let him be him while doing what is right for her well-being, and that of her family.
In your opinion, how can the understanding and application of reflective techniques lead to positive changes in an individual’s mindset and behavior?
In my experience, reflective techniques vary in depth. Some are good for scratching the surface and getting things moving, some work more deeply, and some work with what I would call core beliefs, identities, and ancestral trauma. Each one of these is valuable in its way and they are all part of the journey of doing any kind of inner healing and transformational work. When we can work through and release ourselves from the causes of our unconscious conditioning (the things that we react to, that trigger and drive us, our learned patterns of behavior), our mindset and behavior naturally change to reflect our internal changes. When we love and own those parts of ourselves, we begin to engage in life from a different place, one that is freer, has more space, and is less reactive and stressed. When we become more whole and integrated, it is easier to allow others to be who they are, because we are more okay with who we are. When we begin to take responsibility for what we think and feel, our lives and relationships begin to change to reflect that.
Are there specific therapeutic or counseling approaches that emphasize the importance of reflection in addressing trauma, and how have you seen these approaches make a positive impact on individuals’ lives?
There are so many different therapeutic and counseling approaches that use and emphasize reflection in addressing trauma, including Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Jungian Shadow Work, and Therapy & EMDR, to name a few. These approaches, and ones like them, can help people to understand themselves and their behaviors better. They can help individuals to become more emotionally fluid, giving them tools and skills for navigating challenging emotions and situations. Equally important, is that they hopefully help prepare people to continue to reflect and be able to do deeper inner work. Once someone begins the journey of inner awareness and inner work, the rabbit hole always goes deeper, and it is helpful to obtain some tools to help on that journey. There are many ways of accessing and working with trauma and difficult emotions, and people need to have a broader spectrum of tools at their disposal for navigating People tend to stick with one therapist or practitioner, and that is great that they have found someone they feel safe with. I would also encourage people to explore other options in combination with their “go-to”. You will find that some are very complimentary or extraordinarily helpful themselves, and others may not make the difference you were hoping for; what is helpful for one person, may not be for another, but if you are mindful in your approach to self-care and healing, it will go a long way in finding what works for you.
Can you share a case or scenario where an individual’s commitment to self-reflection significantly contributed to their personal growth and positive transformation following a traumatic experience?
An example of working with present trauma:
One of my clients came to me shortly after he had recovered from a life-threatening car accident. He broke his neck and had to recover from wearing a halo and rehab muscles that were atrophied from recovery. After recovery, he worked selling insurance, as that is what helped him pay for his medical costs and recovery. He was good at selling insurance and worked in areas that suited his interests, but it still didn’t feel like a fit. This is when he came to see me. Between his accident and recovery, and his wavering attitude towards work, he was looking to see how he was getting in his way and how he could change some patterns that he did not like anymore. His accident changed his values, and he wanted to understand what was holding him back. As we worked together for a couple of months, he broke through challenging childhood fears and changed old patterns of behavior. He also realized that he had a lot of skills and tools and that he wanted to have his own handyman business. Shortly after our time together, he quit selling insurance and set up his handyman trade. Two years later, he has grown his business and now has 3 employees working beside him.
An example of working with past trauma in the present:
I met a therapist at a class for another healing modality and we spoke about the work that I do; she was curious to give it a try. She has multiple certifications in her profession, and it was an honor to work with another professional in the field of mental health and personal development. In our time together, we were able to do some deep work and get to the root of some things that she has struggled with for the better part of her life. We worked through some traumatic childhood events and found some space and freedom on the other side. She was able to quell some of the self-critical mind chatter that had been with her for most of her life and find peace with her past. She had more clarity on why things had played out the way they did in her past and more clarity about how she wanted to approach the future and retirement. She wanted to work less and spend more time with her grandkids. In having a greater degree of clarity around all of it, she and her husband moved to the state and city where their grandkids are, and she relocated her practice and worked part-time, as part of her transition into retirement. Reflective practices work best when an individual is ready and willing to hold up the mirror and take an honest look. Sometimes this starts with alternative medicine or spiritual practices and sometimes it starts with a good therapist or a big life event that causes us to evaluate our life and our choices. We can’t avoid these things forever, so we might as well acquire some tools to help ourselves along the way.
